Transfer Noise — United's Transfer Market Reality Check
United's Transfer Masterclass — A True Story
How To Sign Nobody In Three Easy Steps
"We have been monitoring the Elliot Anderson situation for the last 9 months..."
Nine months of scouting reports. Nine months of meetings. Nine months of monitoring & data science reporting. The dossiers. The spreadsheets. The conference calls. All pointing to Elliot Anderson ...let's close him this summer
He's signed to Man City. Forest wanted $120M for him, and we offered $6M. That's a shame.
"We will continue to monitor the situation over the next 10 years."
"Okay, we lost Anderson. Let's pivot. Matteus Fernandez — second tier, great value, fits the profile..."
The backup plan. The sensible option. The one that was definitely still available. Definitely.
Whoops. He's gone to Spurs. 🤍
"We were very close. Talks were at an advanced stage. But how can teams like us compete with the big teams like Spurs? ...Glazer ownership, that's how."
"Right. Let's go after the American guy. Tyler Adams."
Not because he's the best available. Not because he fits the system. But because we need more shirt sales in the USA. The analytics team has confirmed: Americans buy shirts.
"It's a football decision. Purely football." 🇺🇸💰
The result
We have the data on every top footballer — so we make the 2nd or 3rd tier signings.
Why? Because Sir Jim and his Glazers can't compete with clubs willing to break $100 million. Instead, he's hunting the next Mbappé for $6 million, terrified of going broke by Christmas, yet somehow still demanding best-in-class everything. Oh yeah, the player needs to really want to come here, to our leaky roof stadium, versus those new fantastic looking stadiums. Talk about living on past glories.
What a freaking joke Sir Jim has become.
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Rashford comes crawling back like a whipped dog!
Barcelona don't want him! Arsenal don't want him! We don't want him! Hell, even his own cat don't want him. But we're stuck with him, after he disrespected our club... another failed summer transfer coupe.
Mason Mount will be our 3rd midfielder.
He has shown strong potential in shirt sales and marketing videos. As for Mount's woeful injury record, Glazers and Sir Jim are okay with saving the $80M to help pay off the Glazers' debts, interests and dividends.
Hear we are interested in Lewis Hall?
Sorry, can't afford him because of the Glazers' crippling debts! $6 Million to Newcastle — take it or leave it?
United's PR machine — we see right through you.
Interesting how United's PR puts it out there that we are always interested in the best players, as this keeps their fans happy and hopeful, and supportive of Sir Jim and the Glazers. We are not stupid and can see right through you.
What have the Glazers done to us???
Strange how United spent big last season when we were out of Europe, and now Carrick somehow got us back into the Champions League, we buy 2nd hand or 2nd rate players. The top tier is too expensive for us... we can no longer compete with Spurs, Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and Man City.
WHAT HAVE THE GLAZERS DONE TO US???
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Glazers and Sir Jim have their PR machine churn out pure unadulterated bullshit to us, and expect us to swallow their crap! It's time to ACT NOW and take our club back!
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